Blurbs…fun, fun, fun

To write is human, to blurb is divine? More like: to write is fun, to blub is frustrating. Although, I’ve figured it out – for now at least. 

I’m not a copywriter by any stretch of the imagination. (I didn’t even stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night). I’ve read a couple of books, read a lot, lot, lot of blurbs, and done my best. The only thing I can say definitively is that as of now (May 8, 2002), my “final” versions are better than the initial ones. 

To be honest, I was majorly stressing myself out over this and writing blurbs was a horrible experience. I was full of angst and worried that I wasn’t being perfect. Then – light blub moment. I’m an indie author. Who the heck says this has to be the final, final blurb? I can change it later, right? 

Then I also realized that my blurbs weren’t in the same tone as my book. Nope, that won’t do. So, I got into Retta’s voice and wrote them in first person. I then switched them to third person. Pretty easy at that point.  

Knight

This was my first “final” blurb:

Last week she celebrated her birthday. This week she’s in a foreign land about to be queen.

When her father sent her across the ocean to marry a king she’d never met, Princess Henrietta had no freedom to choose her husband. 

That doesn’t mean her rebellious side doesn’t appreciate the bold, cocky, and devastatingly handsome soldier who caught her gaze – and held it. 

With an alliance between Frapane and Jador on the line, a war with the Elves raging, and no heir to the throne, there are numerous reasons her marriage is vital to Jador’s future. So why is she so drawn to the charming soldier she can never have?

Okay, not too bad, right? But in my humble opinion, this one is tons better:

Last week at her birthday party, her father announced he had arranged for her to marry. The king of a country across the ocean. Whom she’s never met. Thanks, Dad.

Today, Princess Henrietta stepped off the dock onto the soil of her new home and met Lieutenant Anders of the King’s Personal Guard. Devastatingly handsome, bold, and cocky, he gave her a sexy smirk, caught her gaze, and held it. 

A proper princess would dismiss his smile as simple flirting. A proper princess wouldn’t climb trees or be best friends with non-nobility either. She’s a princess, and she can be proper if called for. But usually, all that pomp and circumstance makes her roll her eyes.

With an alliance between Frapane and Jador on the line, a war with the Elves raging, and no heir to the throne, her upcoming marriage is vital to Jador’s future. Yet she’s drawn to the charming soldier, not her husband-to-be. Her head says the right thing is to obey the law – Anders has treason written all over him. So why does her heart say treason may be worth the risk?

This forbidden fantasy romance features a strong heroine, a sexy hero, and stalwart friends and is suitable for 18+. Knight is the first of six books, ending on a cliffhanger.

Still gets across the main points:

• Retta
• Anders
• Sent to marry someone she doesn’t know 
• Was a super quick turn around time
• Wants Anders instead of Lucian
• Reasons her marriage is important, which also tells you for sure this takes place in a fantasy world.

But the first one is “Cathy” the second one is straight up “Retta.”

And just for interest’s sake, here’s how some of the lines developed:

First paragraph:

Second and third paragraphs:

Final paragraph:

Oh, boy did this one change a lot…

A final note on this blurb – nothing I’ve written/revealed includes information past the first chapter. She meets Lucian in the first chapter and says “He was handsome enough, I guess.” Her description is very basic; however, if you read Antipositional Play, you know that Lucian’s much more handsome than Retta thinks he is. But after meeting Anders, Retta’s only got eyes for him. 

Incidentally, I picture Lucian looking like Stephen Amell. Who is not “handsome enough I guess.” In this woman’s opinion, he’s damn fine. On the other hand…Anders looks like Santiago Cabrera (as Aramis in BBC’s The Musketeers)…and you can draw your own conclusions on that one. (Hint – I’m with Retta.)

One more blurb, although this one does have spoilers for Knight. 

Queen

Original:

Retta has a plan. One that could bring the country together, or tear her life apart.

Anders made a decision. One that could realize a dream or be a risk that will kill him.

The king distrusts them. Rumors of treason hound them. And the Duke of Petidar knows their dangerous secret.

The Sacred Mountains provide a respite – but only for a short time. What happens when they return to the palace?

This fantasy romance continues the tale of a strong heroine, a seductive hero, and loyal friends. A forbitten romance suitable for 18+. The second of six books, this must be read after the first book and ends on a cliffhanger. 

The much better one:

There are those who say queens have a privileged life. They’ve never reviewed Queen Retta’s. The king distrusts her. Rumors of treason hound her. The Duke of Petidar discovered her most dangerous secret. And all that was before she caught her husband with his mistress – the same woman who had framed Retta for treason the day before.

But Retta has a plan. Sure, it’s crazy, dangerous, and probably suicidal. Yet she’s headed to the Sacred Mountains with her friends to execute it. For the next month, she gets a respite from the madness she’s left behind. Although when she returns, she’ll have to betray the love of her life – an unfortunate reality that he hates but understands.

Even though she’s not at the palace, she can’t help asking the obvious and difficult questions. What happens when they return? Will Lucian buy her lie? And the biggest one of all – what happens if the plan fails?

This forbidden fantasy romance continues the tale of a strong heroine, a seductive hero, and loyal friends and is suitable for 18+. The second of six books, Queen must be read after Knight. 

Once again, everything that I tell you in the first two paragraphs you know from the previous book (which I point out at the end must be read first.) Yet it reminds readers of the highlights of the first book and just what state Retta is in as she heads off to the Sacred Mountains. It does have spoilers, but except for “And all that was before she caught her husband with his mistress – the same woman who had framed Retta for treason the day before,” it’s an overview only. I don’t tell you what the plan is or what she will do to “betray the love of her life.” Or (a twist) why he knows about it and understands. 

Then, I ask: What happens if the plan fails? 

As you get deeper into the series, it’s pretty much impossible to not have spoilers for the previous books, but I do try to keep it vague. And if you know what “the plan” is, unless you read Queen, you won’t get a hint of whether it works until the blurb for Rook – book four. And even then, you don’t know any specific details.